Reece’s Rainbow Report #59: Young Family

From an outsider’s perspective, their reactions were unexpected. Were they stunned, shocked, angry, upset, worried? No way. Instead, the older Young children were excited. 

“Their experience with Lewis and Teddy had prepared them that they were going to be receiving a precious gift from the hands of God again,” says Jodi, a 46-year-old stay-at-home mom. “And they were right.” 

It’s a sweet, if not uncommon, flip-flop of an outlook for Jodi and Trevor, a 45-year-old pharmaceutical chemist. That’s the sort of thing one can expect from choosing a very different sort of life, including raising and homeschooling 14 children from teenagers down to an infant, several with major special needs. 

Take Lewis and Teddy, those aforementioned reasons why Gus’ impending arrival was met with so much eagerness. Both boys also have Down syndrome and were adopted from China, Lewis in 2015 and Teddy two years later. Also amongst the “Young”sters are Niko and Delia, adopted from Bulgaria in 2012 and 2013. 

“An average day is not very glamorous,” says Jodi. “We have therapies at least twice a week and usually two or three other appointments besides.” 

It may not be glamorous, but it is indeed full and happy. Their journey started in 2010, when Jodi stumbled onto adoption-related content online when their fourth biological daughter had just turned one. Trevor and Jodi agreed to discuss adoption in a year. 

They only lasted one month before completing an application with a local home study agency. 

At first, they thought they would adopt a “typical” child, like their daughters (the two biological Young boys arrived much later, at ninth and tenth in the pregnancy lineup). The couple simply figured you needed special qualifications to adopt anyone with disabilities — and they didn’t have any. 

But then they got access to their agency’s waiting children page. There was five-year-old Niko, code-named “Kody,” staring back at them from a computer screen. The Youngs fell in love with the five-year-old with Pfeiffer syndrome, a complex genetic disorder usually affecting the shape of the face, among other areas. 

“Niko is incredibly resilient. He has been through so many surgeries and other medical challenges, not to mention some tough social and relational stuff, and he is almost always just his happy-go-lucky self,” says Jodi. “He laughs easily and is a friend to everyone.” 

While picking up Niko in Bulgaria, they met Delia, a seven-year-old girl with autism briefly listed as “Rachel #” on Reece’s Rainbow. That diagnosis was decidedly on Jodi’s “no” list, but Trevor felt a connection. Less than one week after bringing Niko home to Pennsylvania, Trevor asked their social worker to find Delia’s file. 

By the time Jodi felt ready to say yes, another family matched with Delia, devastating Jodi. Her husband, meanwhile, still felt that the mostly nonverbal girl would end up as their daughter. And that’s exactly what happened.

But those first weeks and months after Niko’s arrival weren’t just about committing to Delia. They were also learning how to make life work with six children ages seven and under. As the stay-at-home parent, Jodi especially had to figure out a curious little boy with an explorer’s heart — a first for the Youngs. 

“He was deathly afraid of our dog for the first couple weeks, so there was a lot of screaming and running, and at least one flying leap from the top bunk to get away from him,” Jodi remembers. “I lost thirty pounds in the first six months Niko was home just from the sheer energy it took to keep him alive!” 

Though they didn’t learn everything special needs adoption right away, life with Niko taught them how sweet it could be. Juniper, then three years old, was so starstruck the first time she saw her new brother in person that she asked, “Can I pet him?” 

Delia was decidedly a more difficult family adjustment. “But once you're in the adoption world, you can never stop seeing the faces,” Jodi says. “When I saw Lewis (“Caden” on RR), I just fell in love.”

Lewis, eight years old at the time of his adoption, then inspired the adoption of 10-year-old Teddy, who had been code-named “Donni.” 

“We were just already doing this life, and I guess we just leaned into it,” Jodi says. “Lewis and Teddy have both made leaps and bounds with their speech and skills in other areas.”

All four adopted children, now either 18 or 17, have leapt and bounded, in fact. Niko was the first kid to pass his mother up in height, is learning pre-calculus and works as a grocery store cashier. Delia arrived primed to struggle with attachment and affection but now seeks out her new parents for both, as evidenced by her ability to verbally call Jodi “mom.” Jodi thinks Lewis, a born helper, will read someday; he’s also uniquely talented at both crochet and basketball. Teddy, meanwhile, is the family clown. 

“We have a string of six birthdays in February and March. Every year, it is a terrible disappointment to Teddy to find, after weeks of cake and presents, that he still has to wait months and months until August for his birthday,” says Jodi. “One year, he looked ahead on the calendar to the next birthday, crossed off his sister's name and wrote his own. We all laughed and laughed, but we still made him wait until August.”

Though all the original Young children have accepted the newcomers, Jodi says her biological children born after their adoptions have taken things to the next level.

“We have to start talking to them about adoption as soon as they're old enough to understand, because they genuinely have no idea who is adopted and who's not. Everyone's just a big brother or a big sister,” she explains. “I just quizzed Milo, age three and a half, and we totally still need to practice with him!” 

Baby Gus, with his mommy’s dimple, daddy’s expressions and Teddy’s eyes, might need the same sort of practice someday. But that’s alright — he is the family’s bow on the beautiful gift of special needs. 

“I feel like I'm getting a little glimpse of what Teddy and Lewis might have been like as babies,” Jodi says. “Before, we had typical bio kids and adopted kids with special needs. Gus blurs those lines. It's such an incredible miracle to see those shared features between my bio son and my adopted sons.” 

Something to get excited about, indeed.