Reece’s Rainbow Report #55: DiAntonio Family

Her mother Marabeth knew that 12-year-old Bobbi had sensory issues that made both having longer hair and cutting it difficult. But the snipping needed to be done, necessitating the family’s secret weapon: their other 12-year-old, a son named Michael. 

“So Mike noticed and came out on the deck where I was cutting her hair and held her hands and sang to her so she would be distracted while I cut,” Marabeth says. “Then she was having a hard time with the feel of the hair against her neck, so Mike got a hairbrush and played around being silly, pretending to do her hair and be a hairdresser to make her laugh.” 

Michael’s kindness and understanding comes from a very personal place: both he and his sister have Down syndrome, though all nine kids of the DiAntonio clan arrived through “his, mine and ours” situations between Marabeth and her husband Bernie. Michael was Pennsylvania-born to the DiAntonios, while Bobbi was adopted from Bulgaria. 

“Michael and Bobbi are extremely close and have a special bond,” says Marabeth, a 40-year-old stay-at-home mom. “It is like they just understand each other on a deep level.”

That understanding may not have happened were it not for the Boroughs, a family at the DiAntonios' church who adopted five children with special needs with the help of Reece’s Rainbow. The two families became friends after Michael was born, opening the DiAntonios’ eyes to the plight of many disabled children in other nations. 

Eventually, Amy Boroughs posted the photo of a six-year-old girl on Facebook who needed an adoptive family. Her code name was “Bella,” and according to her orphanage, she possessed “excellent gross motor skills,” often running on a treadmill-type of contraption. Another thing that the DiAntonios quickly noticed: “Bella” certainly resembled Bernie, now a 59-year-old Boeing employee.

“This was just something that was just a sense that she would fit in well with us — not something logical,” Marabeth says. She felt that sense again when she looked at the profile of “Branson,” a three-year-old “crib kid” with cerebral palsy living in the notorious Pleven orphanage. He would eventually become John DiAntonio, named after John the Baptist. 

Marabeth and Bernie brought home both Bobbi and John to Pennsylvania in 2018. John had to be hospitalized immediately, while Bobbi screamed and cried every time Marabeth needed to use the bathroom or take a shower. Bobbi also needed a baby-proofed house and struggled with food insecurity. 

“If anyone ate anything she didn't have also (even if she didn't like it), she would be upset,” Marabeth remembers. “If I had to microwave her food, she would be upset, like she thought I was taking it away.” 

The other DiAntonio children, meanwhile, had built up the idea of what their new little sister would be like. Bobbi bonded with them — especially Michael and Maggie, who is one year younger than Bobbi — but there were, understandably, hard feelings to process. On one hand, welcoming Bobbi into the family was nothing like welcoming home an infant, like they had been used to. On the other, she sort of was, given that everything was new and overwhelming to both parties. 

Even so, both Bobbi and John, now eight, began making progress. They came home nonverbal but soon learned to communicate in their own ways; “Bobbi learned English like a rock star,” her new mother says. Now, she chatters endlessly, while John can effectively convey what he is thinking or wanting. 

Bobbi also is popular at school, where she can not only speak English but read it. She learned to swim without formal lessons and plays sports year-round with Special Olympics. “She is Miss Personality,” Marabeth says. 

And not only does John not get sick all the time, he can now walk with a gait trainer when he once could not even sit up. He loves music, is learning new words and has friends at school. 

“He loves to be included in everything, even though it can be hard, like when Bobbi and Mike are playing basketball, he will sit there in his chair and say, ‘Ball, ball,’ so that they pass it to him,” Marabeth says. “Then he usually tries to be funny and throws it in the wrong direction or something.” 

There are plenty of these kinds of lighthearted moments for the DiAntonios. Still, Bernie and Marabeth wonder about the future, especially for their children with major special needs. What happens when they turn 22 and can no longer attend school? What if Marabeth throws out her back and can’t help Bernie lift John? And why are there so few adult-sized changing tables in public?! 

“The future of our kids is a big scary unknown,” Marabeth says. “Our friends talk about futures and doing things that we just can’t relate to.” 

Even with those fears, the DiAntonios have no regrets. Marabeth thinks of the nights when, not long after discovering Reece’s Rainbow, she would cry as she checked on Michael in his crib, knowing that so many children had no one to do the same. 

Now, Bobbi and John have exactly that, while Bernie and Marabeth get to enjoy their newest children’s growth and antics.

“They bring a lot of joy to our lives and unconditional love to our family,” Marabeth says. It’s a forever family for sure, no matter what the shapeless future holds.

Indeed, as Bobbi will tell you, her hands firmly in her brother’s: the only thing getting cut out of the DiAntonios is her hair.